The Shape of Water (2017) - 100 Words or Less

Relevant to the current political climate, a film about otherness and how outsiders are persecuted, and monsters are created, through an unwillingness to empathize. This film not only works as an entertaining creature feature, but also as an allegory for the civil rights movement. The beauty of the cinematography/staging alone is worth the price of a ticket; and while some of the scenes feel on the nose in its message, there is enough heart to illustrate the lasting impact people can have if they take the time to listen to the voiceless, and the commonalities we find in doing so. (8/10) 

Death Note (2017) - Mini Review

Death Note doesn’t nosedive in the way that fans of the anime or casual viewers seem to be painting. Its style is purposefully overdone and revels in that with conscious choice of cheesy music and acting. The appearance of Death God Ryuk and the blood-curdling screams early on establishes a schlocky, self-aware attitude that leaves it up to the individual to agree if it works. Familiarity with the Director Adam Wingard’s previous films would only help better understand what he is attempting to do. He walks the tightrope of comedy/horror schlock in most of his films, and while there is evidence Death Note does the same, there is an underlying sense this project is handcuffed by studio notes instead of the allowance for liberal exploration of fresh and bizarre territory. It bleeds the question, “what could this have been as a 13-episode miniseries?” Death Note both fails and succeeds in cramming the plot points of the source material into a short amount of time while exploring new ideas but tumbles under its own weight, simultaneously entertaining and disappointing, exceeding and underperforming in its adaptation. I’m genuinely unsure if a straight adaptation would work better or be as enjoyable. Perhaps it works better as a summation of curious, ambitious ideas that either fall short or are lost in translation. An amusing, infuriating and intriguing mess of a film. (6.5/10)

Little Evil (2017)- 100 Words or Less

At times it can be a clever parody of the horror genre, but ultimately it becomes bogged down in cliche, not all the jokes land the way they should, and the character progression is too rushed.

A tighter script could have saved it. And compared to the director's previous work with the clever Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, it kind of pales in comparison, not meeting the bar that have already been set by previous horror comedies.

Adam Scott is always good though regardless of what he's in.

Not good, not terrible. Watchable. (6/10)

Ingrid Goes West (2017)- 100 Words or Less

Satirical, intense, often dark and funny. Ingrid Goes West is an unflinching sendup of our obsession with fame, projection of false lives on social media and the constant search for reassurance and purpose in the smartphone era. Aubrey Plaza gives one of her best performances as a sympathetic sociopath and the film is bolstered by strong supporting performances by newcomers like O' Shea Jackson. Twisted my guts and made me hate everything about instagram even more .

Green Room (2016) - Review

Green Room is the kind of film that traps you in its grip and slowly suffocates you. A claustrophobic, superbly directed vision that prods a gun barrel to your forehead and challenges you to brush it away.

It entirely works because of it's direction and in more shaky hands would fall flat. The plot is fairly simple: a struggling punk band seeking their next paying gig, siphoning gas along the way, finds themselves trapped in a green room of a Neonazi punk bar after they are witness a murder. They must find a way to escape the owner and his violent skinhead cronies before they attempt to bury them along with the victim.

A lesser film would easily find itself buried in the premise, bordering into "slasher movie" territory but it manages to climb its way above that by immersing you in the action with compelling characters, nuanced performances and genuine terror. This world is bleak, unapologetic, often teetering into pure psychological horror; and the audience, along with the characters, is pushed into a hopeless situation where death slashes at you from every corner. My heart jolted throughout and results in a truly nerve-wracking experience. Phrases like "edge of your seat" and "jaw-dropping" are thrown around a lot, but Green Room truly earns these accolades.

Patrick Stewart delivers an understated, menacing performance plucked from the backwoods of American subculture often ignored. He is smart, calculated and unflinching. Where many other films would exemplify eccentricity or melodrama, we are not given reprieve or laughter--only brutality--and are forced to escape the onscreen terror alongside the characters. The film works is because the monsters are real people that are smart and tread in the real world with thought and feeling. Nobody is safe, and the motivations are clear: survive or die trying. Anton Yelchin and Imogen Poots give believable, yet starkly different performances as the down and out punkers trying fight their way out, and the stakes are undeniably raised as the brutality swells with shotguns and hungry pitbulls.

The gore, death and general horrific imagery aside, the movie manages to be beautifully shot, edited and emanates a moody color scheme of vivid blacks and greens that showcase squeamish uneasiness and dread. A film of broken rules, predictability, and gives the viewer panic as these people attempt to escape the bar with their lives. Every scene raises a serious question about the characters' mortality. I was totally engrossed with this miserable, heart-pumping ride from beginning to end that unexpectedly scares without feeling cheap or unearned.

(9/10)

Who Took Johnny? (2014) - REVIEW

A lone red wagon, a small dog, and undelivered newspapers are left behind on a suburban Iowa sidewalk in 1982, a Ford Fairlane speeding through a stop sign into the darkness of early morning. A 12-year old paperboy will be discovered missing the next day and later become the first child’s face to show up on the back of a milk carton in American history.

What sounds like the beginning of a nail-biting Hollywood thriller is a sad and disturbing reality—one that American parents face each and every day and is the main focus of documentary Who Took Johnny, a dissection of the stranger-than-fiction disappearance of Iowa paperboy, Johnny Gosch, a boy who seemingly “vanished into thin air” and a case that still remains unsolved.

At the beginning of the documentary, we meet Gosch’s mother Noreen, 30 years later, still unwilling to give up despite the three decades that have passed since her boy originally went missing. We follow her to yoga, to the local gas station, and other seemingly everyday excursions before ultimately arriving at the home of a young Iowa couple who, like her, has also fallen victim to a child abduction/disappearance. Noreen consults them, gives them advice, and tries to be the consolation to the couple’s heartbreak and sense of hopelessness that permeates in the air because she has been through it herself. A series of old news reels and eyewitness interviews about the 1982 disappearance of Johnny Gosch follows, depicting the townsfolk and a younger Noreen crusading against the neighborhood police department at the height of her child’s disappearance.

It is hard to believe that 30 years ago a missing child was not a same-day priority for the police as we have grown accustomed in modern day; but the Reagan era was perceived as a very different time as the documentary paints, and bureaucracy, police neglect and apathy ultimately hinder further investigation into young Johnny Gosch’s disappearance. As months are torn away on the calendar, the story only becomes weirder. The emergence of testimony from an alleged accomplice to the kidnapping of Johnny Gosch, who claims to have known Johnny personally, identifies marks that only his mother would have known existed. Yet despite his testimony and the irrefutable evidence he presents, personal interviews with local police show them dismissing it all as inconclusive and not worth pursuing further.

Directors David Bellinson, Michael Galinsky and Suki Hawley happen upon deeply emotional and complex subject matter that is so layered it almost feels too hefty to cover in the short 76-minute run time. That isn’t to say that the documentary suffers or feels incomplete: it unequivocally grabs the viewer’s attention from the opening to the very last frame and, as it progresses, what begins as an investigative documentary of an unsolved missing child case evolves into something much more scandalous and eye-opening. Eyewitness accounts and unbelievable news footage angers as much as it informs and evil facets of American society are exposed along the way with police departments and politicians turning a blind eye to children’s disappearances, further propagating a series of crime rings responsible for child sex trafficking and abuse as long as money is thrust into their pockets.

The production value, editing and pacing of Who Took Johnny is confident and extraordinarily skilled, and the questions it raises pleads for a follow-up or at the least a director’s cut. The case, the people affected by it and the unraveling of unforeseen and unspoken maliciousness is bigger than the documentary can contain at its length and leaves many questions unanswered—but like the human experience, sometimes answers are never found. An incredibly poignant film that proves reality can be darker and more intriguing than the most despondent recesses that the human mind can create and certainly should not be missed.

Available to stream on all major platforms.

The Cheap Seats: Funimation's Ghostbusters (1986)

I watch it so you don't have to.

I have been introduced to a lot of decent obscure television thanks to Netflix, so I was very excited to see that under “NEW TV ARRIVALS” was a Ghostbusters cartoon show. Being a huge fan of the Ghostbusters films from the 80’s, I jumped at the opportunity to watch an animated series that I was unfamiliar with—I was only familiar with the 90’s cartoon. However, from the moment the opening credits of Ghostbusters: the Animated Series began, I noticed that something was not quite right. The changes are so subtle; a casual fan of the 1984 Bill Murray classic may not be able to notice the difference—although, a talking ape wearing a fedora might be your first clue. After seeing this character, I rigorously combed through both Ghostbusters films to make sure there was never a Magilla Gorilla-esque sidekick whom I might have just happened to forget. Long story short…there wasn’t. Even weirder, the team of Ghosbusters in this version have a living skeleton phone, an atomic high-five, and an enchanted jalopy. I was pretty sure that these elements of Ghosbusters: the Animated Series were not in the 80’sGhostbusters films, and upon a fifth and sixth viewing to clarify, I was 90% certain. These subtle changes enticed me to continue watching, and I decided to continue past the opening credits and watch the first episode of this animated series. I will summarize what I saw to spare anyone from the moral anguish caused by viewing this terrible program. Ahem.

Deep in the recesses of hell/another dimension/space, we are introduced to the villain of the show, Primeval, a robot (who is also a ghost) that wears a flamboyant, red, Dracula-inspired ensemble—by flamboyant I mean it literally has flames on it…and is very gay. Equipped with a church organ that can travel through time (I’m not making this up), his apparent motive is to take over Earth—but only in the 1980’s—with the help of fellow ghost robots, ghosts, and other creatures of the night. It is pretty safe to say that this villain might be the first true indicator that this show has nothing to do with the 1980’s Ghostbusters films, but who knows, still time for some familiar faces like Dr. Peter Venkman ,Egon, or Slimer to pop up. Primeval proclaims that nobody would be dumb enough to try and stop ghosts, thus his plans for world-domination are fail-safe. He was wrong. Why a time/dimension/space traveling robot-ghost would want to conquer Earth is beyond my understanding, let alone Earth in the 80’s—perhaps he has a cocaine addiction. There has to be cooler planets, or at least a cooler era out there to conquer. I’m assuming all the other planets don’t have competitive eating competitions, which make Earth such a supreme candidate.

The Ghostbusters team is comprised of a flamboyant version of a prohibition-era gangster (seems to be a re-occurring theme here) and a pool hall junkie wearing a neutral sports jersey—I suppose he’s rooting for sports in general, all the while hanging out in an abandoned mine. These two men are trying to instill the discipline and know-how of the Ghostbusters upon their two idiot sons, Jake and Eddie, one of which looks extremely similar to the Roger from 101 Dalmations; maybe he lost his mind after caring for all those unruly puppies. Before anyone has time to explain anything that’s going on, the two bumbling sons experience their first foe…a robot ghost on a rocket-powered handcar? Apparently, in this universe, ghost robots are a big threat because they are not transparent, floating, or particularly spooky, they just cluck like chickens and ineffectively attack people whilst on handcars. How does one defeat a robot ghost? By dematerializing them with a “Dematerializer” of course—a weapon that has the power of destroying matter and, in the wrong hands, the Earth. Now, if this small, independently-run ghostbusting organization has access to this kind of weaponry, there has to be some sort of government task force trying to put these men in prison forever, especially if these “ghostbusters” allow these unspeakably dangerous weapons to be operated by inexperienced family members who are as intelligent birthday clowns. These people are simply not responsible enough to carry and handle weapons of such magnitude. That aside, the bumbling sons shoot it everywhere, missing the robot-ghost, destroying most of the mine. Then they pull out another, less-effective gun, which appears to just shoot out used gum. Needless to say, both guns prove ineffective. Luckily, the pool hall junkie Dad realizes that simply tossing some metal on the mine-tracks will stop the robot-ghost’s handcar and render him completely helpless—truly an enemy worth firing a gun at with the potential to destroy the entire universe. The ghost is quickly disposed of with the dematerializer and another Ghostbuster victory is had. Or is it?

Primeval returns to butt heads with the Ghostbusters, but he is ineffective due to his stuttered speech and the fact that he hisses at his enemies like a cat. However, the Ghosbusters still must flee after they discover Primeval is impervious to their dematerializer, leading to a chase in which Primeval—accompanied by some awkward smooth jazz—shoots out some energy beams from his hands that apparently just make objects warmer. Fortunately for the Ghostbusters, they find a hatch-door in the mine and lead Primeval into it, then shut it behind him trapping him inside. Since robot ghosts cannot go through walls, Primeval is defeated and annoyed. To make things worse, a weird floating fart-propelled slug rat emerges from behind a wall eager to befriend Primeval and he facepalms accordingly. The Ghostbusters decide to wash their hands of Primeval, reasoning that nobody will go into this mine for another 100 years, thus he is no longer a problem. And it actually works out that way. He is trapped in the room for over 100 years with the flying slug-rat thing as his only companion. They have a very abusive relationship. It probably took minutes for them to start fooling around with each other.

Fortunately for Primeval, there is a flying bat pig… that looks suspiciously familiar (a blatant rip-off of Piglet from Winnie-the-Pooh) outside the hatch door, and he overhears Primeval and the slug rat bickering. Bat pig decides to open the hatch for them, thinking they are fellow bat pigs. Oh bother, this is not the case. Primeval escapes, meanly dismissing the bat pig. He dusts the cobwebs off his church organ with the slug rat and plays his heart out all the way back to another dimension to recuperate and devise a plan to settle the score with the Ghostbusters. Little does he know, the bat pig has hitched a ride on his organ in an attempt to stop his future—or should I say past?—wrong-doings. I’m not really sure about which time period he travels to, but who the hell cares?

Meanwhile, Eddie and Jake Sr. are continuing to train their two sons, Eddie and Jake Jr., introducing them to all the components of their ghostbusting headquarters. Their entire headquarters is comprised of skeleton-based furniture and appliances, and even creepier, they also happen to be alive. For some reason however, the skeleton furniture is really reluctant to help out the Ghostbusters (I suspect many years of abuse), always being tricksters, throwing pies in faces, and generally not doing their jobs. This subversive and unproductive behavior by the furniture and appliances could all be solved by buying regular, inanimate appliances and furniture, but I guess it never occurs to them to stop frequenting the Ikea of the Undead. I imagine their wise-cracking “Skelephone” is responsible for losing many potential customers since it seems more interested in hanging up on callers than doing its job; this applies to the Skelevision and the Skelecabinet as well. The two sons are then introduced to an important part of the ghostbusting team, a talking, hat-wearing, gun-inventing ape named Tracy. With the collective aid of these many elements, the Ghostbusters are almost a mild threat against evil.

In his lair which he has aptly named “Hauntquarters,” Primeval gathers a ragtag team of the most feared ghost/monsters the universe has to offer. Yet, since most of the classic monsters of yesteryear are copyrighted, he has to settle for extremely shitty B-List rip-offs instead, such as: Werewolf of the future, a werewolf that is also from the future; Mysteria-Mistress of mists (she can control mist?); Sir Trance-a-lot, a bad knight to one and all (I wasn’t quite sure what his power was besides shooting fog out of his lance); Aparitia, a sorceress of unmentioned power (not unmentionable, just unmentioned; she never explains what she can actually do); The Hunter, a hunter of haunted prey and a possessor of a speech impediment; and the Musical Maestro of Fright, a conductor who can conjure up spirits and boredom. Last but not least, my personal favorite, Long John Scarecrow, who looks nothing like a pirate or a scarecrow, but apparently he patrols the seven galaxies sort of like a pirate, but nothing like a scarecrow. With the help of this cavalcade of mediocrity, Primeval may or may not prove to be a mild threat as well.

Primeval sends Mysteria and Maestro to kidnap the fathers of Jake and Eddie using a magic bone flute that levitates them out of bed (it sounds dirtier than it is), unbeknownst to their two sons. The next morning, a local news reporter, Jessica (a rip-off of April O’ Neil) is interviewing Eddie about their organization, claiming to not believe in ghosts, despite a ghost very unsubtly clapping trashcan lids behind her on several occasions to the point where it doesn’t make any sense for her to not believe in them. This entire scene has background music that sounds like those Contra 3 stages with the overhead view. It’s really bizarre and unfitting, and I’m unsettled by the fact that I remember this music.

Afterward, Eddie sees Jake watching the Skelevision, which can apparently foresee the future, a dark future where Primeval has enslaved the universe with the help of Mysteria’s…ahem…evil mists. Tracy, the ape that makes pancakes and invents, goes to alert their two fathers and discovers they have been kidnapped. Meanwhile, the Skeledrawer (who now can talk) pops out some yellow book with a ghost logo on it. Even more amazing, Eddie reads off a non-existent title THE GHOSBUSTERS INSTRUCTION MANUAL: HOW TO BUST A GHOST. I suppose this would not be as weird if there was even one semblance of a word or scribble on the front cover to justify reading such a long title off of it, but alas, only a picture of a ghost. Anyway, Jake and Eddie begin to familiarize themselves with everything ghostbusting-related through this magic manual that the Skeledrawer appears to have created just then.

Eddie—being the clumsy idiot that he is—stumbles over a pot and pulls on a knight’s armor to reveal the “secret transformation room”, a room with a skeleton elevator that travels to a timeless space hell. This hellish place devoid of time and space is occupied by giant, terrifying, and grotesque demon heads screaming in anguish, which for some reason is less scary to them than a tiny, unthreatening robot ghost on a handcar. A giant robot arm with no apparent source grabs them from the elevator, and a giant skeleton foot (also with no source) throws them onto a conveyor belt made of human bones. Jake happily and inappropriately whistles throughout this entire process like it is as normal as picking up the morning paper. This entire macabre process is strictly to clothe them in wacky outfits and drop them into their time-traveling jalopy…that’s it. Why must they experience such a traumatizing ordeal in order to have a jacket put on them and enter their car? On top of this nonsense, their jalopy is alive, talks, flies around, and sort of sounds like Don Knotts with a stutter. I think almost every character may have a stutter on this show, except Long John Scarecrow because he is supreme chancellor of badassery. With the aid of wormholes, Jake, Eddie, and Tracy use the jalopy to travel to the future to stop Primeval and his cronies.

This was all in the pilot. It was almost like they tried to cram everything that kids like into one cartoon, with some small terrifying parts spliced between. After viewing the entire episode, I was almost positive that this show has nothing to do with the 1984 Ghostbusters film, but the changes are so subtle…who can ever really be sure?